There is a new book added to my Reading List on the right side of the screen here. The book is titled Burden Bearers: Who's Carrying Your Load? Paul Chappell is a pastor and the author of this book that I have not quite finished reading - still working on it.
I found this book when I felt led to do a Google search on "burden bearers" just to see if anyone had already written something on the subject, as I know quite a few people who carry burdens for others, myself included, and I wanted to know more about the subject. In my case, I needed to know specifically how to deal with the very heavy burdens I was carrying - how to shift their weight in order to carry them more easily or how to release them altogether. All I knew was that I could no longer carry them all. It had become too much. I slept very little each night with the worries of each burden and then could barely face each day. It seemed as though my only solution was to run away and hide so that no one could burden me any further (forgetting that I was the one who had taken the burdens upon myself in the first place, no one had forced me into anything, that's just the kind of person I am: caring and compassionate and...well...it seemed that if I were going to hide, it might need to be from myself!)
Mind you, I have been a born-again believer for more than 40 years now and I know Scripture (how could I not after studying the bible for the best part of that 40 years?) I know, for example, that Jesus said:
"Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly of heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)
And then there is this one which I used so often just to help me drift off to sleep each night after a long day of burden-bearing, it's just that I couldn't stay asleep:
"The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures, He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul...I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me, thy rod and thy staff they comfort me..." (Psalm 23: 1-4a)
These are words my mind kept telling my heart, it's just that my heart was unable to apply that which it was hearing. At some point, I had become so burdened that I didn't function as well as I once had. It was as though a sort of paralysis had taken hold of me and I became unable to move, or even to think clearly. You would think paralysis would be a "rest" of some sort, but it isn't - it's just a more intense struggle to do what you know you can no longer do - to move - and carry burdens!
Then my Google search led me to Paul Chappell's book which, by the way, is such an easy read! Each chapter is prefaced by an allegorical example, similar to the way The Pilgrim's Progress was written. Each preface is a continuation of a tale that happens primarily between two main characters, Carrier and Burden Bearer, although they meet other characters along The Way. It is difficult to know whether I learned more from the allegorical parts or from the pastoral teaching parts that followed, as they were both excellently written, but there was no doubt about it: I was Carrier, who was also a born-again believer, carrying a backpack filled with burdens.
So, have I found a practical application of the message contained in Paul Chappell's book to my own life? Have I truly found the rest and restoration that are promised to me in the two scriptures above?
Honestly, probably not quite yet. After all, I haven't even finished the book...
...but as I read, I sense a slight lessening, barely perceptible, of the ever-present weight on my heart and a stirring of truths long buried under grief's pain. For example, there was a time when I clearly heard the Lord speak to me through a dream, but His words were also lost in my suffering. Now, I recall the words spoken, and I weep for having doubted Him, for having lost my way. And even as I weep, I understand once again that a release, and rest, are waiting for me, here, in the weeping.
Honestly, probably not quite yet. After all, I haven't even finished the book...
...but as I read, I sense a slight lessening, barely perceptible, of the ever-present weight on my heart and a stirring of truths long buried under grief's pain. For example, there was a time when I clearly heard the Lord speak to me through a dream, but His words were also lost in my suffering. Now, I recall the words spoken, and I weep for having doubted Him, for having lost my way. And even as I weep, I understand once again that a release, and rest, are waiting for me, here, in the weeping.
