Faith & Confidence Needed

Believe it or not, this is not a rabbit trail..this is important to our study.

I want to discuss for a moment the words "faith" and "confidence" which I believe are essential to this and every study of God's Word; essential to our spiritual growth which then affects every relationship we have as well.

Faith happens when we are drawn by the Holy Spirit to receive the things of God.  It happens because the Holy Spirit has taken the blinders of sin's deception off of our eyes, and we can see.  He has taken the sin-initiated stoppers out of our ears and now we can hear. Faith begins with God; it is one of His gifts to us.

But faith does have substance.  There is some-thing that we trust or some-one.  In our case, we trust in Jesus to have been alive and to have risen from the dead by the power of God.

Let's look at the disciples for a moment.  When Jesus called them, they left everything to follow Him.  They didn't go follow Him for no reason...it was because they were called.  They heard the words that He spoke to them, such as, "Follow me and I will make you fishers of men."  There was some substance that drew them to "trust" or "have faith" in what He was saying to them. There was Jesus in the flesh talking to them, but the power of the Holy Spirit opened their eyes to see and their ears to hear Him.

So do we do the same.  We have come to trust in Jesus because we have been called by God to "hear" the Word, and so we have faith to follow.  Our faith is not blind; we have been given eyes to see. And what we see, that we once could not see, is the truth of God's Word.

And our faith is not stupid. By that, I mean, we don't have to become "dumbed-down" to have faith.  We do not have to forsake intelligence in order to believe.  In fact, I think we have to be "smart" enough to know that we are sinners who need a Savior.  I think that is a very intelligent and necessary observation.

But once we have come to trust in the Word of God, aka Jesus Christ, then we are gifted over and over again with little confidences which build our faith.  Those little confidences come in a variety of ways and all of these have substance as well.

I observe the little ways He protects me.  I observe how He is always there to comfort me and to push me another step closer into His image.  I observe how much He truly loves me, even at those moments when I have messed up and am not feeling so loving towards myself.  All these things build confidence in the object of my faith, which is God the Father, and Jesus, His Son, and the Holy Spirit, the teacher of all that I have learned about God.

I also observe the spiritual family, aka my church, that He has provided for me.  I observe their willingness to draw closer to God, their willingness to serve God, their willingness to love one another even when it is sometimes a little difficult. I haven't always been in a church such as mine.  I haven't always had the confidence in a church, such as I have in mine.  Oh, we make our share of mistakes, and we are still learning and still growing, but we are earnest in pursuing the Lord.  The confidence I have in my church and in the elders of my church and the brothers and sisters in my church, (which is confidence built by increased knowledge of who they are and how much they strive to be godly) also builds confidence in the object of my faith which is the Lord.

Then there is the Word of God.  From this I draw the most confidence about the object of my faith which is Jesus, my Lord and Savior.  I love the Word.  I love to get into the Word because it is through the Word that I most clearly see God.  I don't mean I have perfect eyesight, not yet.  But the more I study, the more clearly I can see, until eventually, I will be able to see with 20/20 vision, which should be about the time Jesus returns!  When I study the Word, I dissect it.  I look at each word.  Then I look at the sentence.  Then I ask God questions about it (called prayer). And sometimes He answers me right away.  Other times the answer is slow in coming.  And in some cases, I already know, I am not going to get that answer until the Lord returns.  But I still study, I still dissect, I still question (which has nothing to with doubting, do not misunderstand me please...it is just about understanding better than I currently do.  And God allows me to question for the sake of learning and growing...how else do we grow actually?) In every way, the Word builds confidence in the object of my faith which is my Father in heaven, for I am His child and can go to Him with any question or any request and know that He will never tell me that "children are to be seen and not heard."

The disciples walked with Jesus for 3-1/2 years during which time He did things that built confidence in the object of the disciples' faith: Jesus - the Word made flesh.

Why am I saying all of this?

Because we are never to say "It's enough, God.  It's enough that I know you exist.  It's enough that I know I have salvation. I don't need to know anything else."

The Israelites did that at Mount Sinai.  They said, "It's enough, Moses!  We don't want to hear the voice of God anymore!  It scares us!  You talk to him Moses!  You tell us what God says, but we don't need to hear it for ourselves from the mouth of God! It is too hard a thing for us to do!" (seriously para-phrased, of course.)

Most of those same Israelites died in the desert, never reaching the promised land.  They didn't want to know too much about God.  They wanted to know just enough...or what they thought was sufficient.  And then they rested on that little bit. And then they died.

Building confidence, as we will experience, I hope, during this study, for the things of God, will happen, not because we set aside our curiosity or intelligence and become "dumbed-down" enough to trust in God.  Sure, we have to have faith as little children to come to God, but faith, once we have been given it by God and chosen to receive it is the foundation upon which is built, with the aid of the Holy Spirit, all that transforms us into the image of God.  God, and His image-bearers, are not "dumbed-down."  They have the highest standards of excellence to attain to.  God's standards! We are not to stop at faith alone!  Faith is the beginning.  Without faith we will not endure to the end.  But in addition to our faith, there is work to be done in the middle.

What is it that Peter tells us?

"Grace and peace be multiplied unto you through the knowledge of God, and of Jesus, our Lord, according as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain unto life and godliness through the knowledge of Him that hath called us to glory and virtue. Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.  And besides this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, and to virtue knowledge and to knowledge temperance, and to temperance patience and to patience godliness, and to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness charity.  For if these things be in you and abound they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ." 2 Peter 1:2-8

Why didn't Peter just tell us to believe?  And leave it at that?

Because the Lord has higher expectation from us than to come to faith and then sit back and rest on our salvation (which is self-focused) rather than move on towards the things that He desires for us (which are others-focused); such as virtue and knowledge and temperance and patience and godliness and brotherly kindness and charity.

Now relate all that I have said to the marriage covenant.  What we perceive faith to be and to not be, and whether or not we choose to "grow" in the Word as a result, will have great impact on marriage as well as all other relationships.

Response to Last Posting's Comments

There were two excellent comments at the end of the last posting, to which I would like to respond here:

TO MDW: My own experiences with separation and divorce have caused me to search scriptures, not just once but many times over looking for my own answers as to what is right and what is wrong in God's eyes; and at one time my search occurred because the church I was in at the time, turned their back on me completely because I divorced, even though I was doing so for absolutely-without-any-doubt-scriptural-reasons; the situation was so extreme, however, that not only was I reeling from the secrets I had uncovered about my spouse, but my church had no idea how to handle such a thing, leaving me to fight for spiritual survival on my own.

My church's reasoning for not supporting me was that my spouse (who was a deacon in the church) had told them he was repentant and even though it was not true, the church wanted to believe it, and they did, and I was left out in the cold as though I was the liar and my sexually-aberrant spouse was honest. True evil is a terrible thing to witness, but that was the situation I found myself in more than 25 years ago.

I have found many churches since then who are quick, as this past church of mine was, to offer what I call trite and neatly packaged ("lazy") answers to people who are suffering through such an event, such as "God doesn't like  divorce" or "Wives MUST submit to their husbands", without wanting to dig further into the situation and see beyond what all "appearances" are showing. (And I AM a proponent of wives submitting to their husbands, but I don't just stop there but apply ALL scripture that also applies.)

When I recently read a book called Divorce and Remarriage, by Tony Evans, the pastor of a very large Christian church in Dallas, Texas, I was as amazed as you are MDW, at his application of the passage in 1 Corinthians 6.  Tony Evans thinks "kingdom" in everything. Why don't we? Perhaps because our churches, and us as well, are more worldly than we are prepared to acknowledge.

It explains why my church so many years ago was not able to help me when I needed them.  Add to 1 Timothy 3 to the mix in order to get wisdom and Godly counsel for those struggling with these marital situations.  If churches today neglect the scriptural wisdom regarding the appointing of elders, appointing them instead for various non-scriptural reasons (perhaps because they are hard-working and available or because of friendships.) the health of the church will suffer the consequences.  

I believe as M. Scott Peck suggested in his book, The Road Less Traveled, that many of us tend to suffer from a "laziness" that causes us to "follow" what the crowd is doing (and saying) rather than "lead" others into what is right. Phinehas, for example, was not "lazy."  But the crowd he was surrounded with was, and thus fell into sin. 

We Christians have a lot of work to do in scripture to keep us from going with the crowd known as "the world" and even more work when it comes to bringing our churches back from their worldly influence that has little comparison to the church of the apostles. We Christians have to search far and wide to find teachers and pastors who act in every instance in accordance with the WHOLE of God's Word, even when it goes against the "church crowd" and "church traditions" (that have little to do with the traditions Paul was talking about and more to do with church "traditions" that have begun in just the past century). One would have to be diligent in the study of the Word to recognize this; but laziness (and distraction by worldly pursuits) prevents this most often.

And you are right, MDW, that the best way to avoid divorce or separation is to "choose to date believers"...that is the single most important point to get across in this study...to all of those who have not yet married or are about to.  And again, it is not being preached and taught to children with necessary diligence, either in the church, or sadly, often not at home either...it is VITAL that the children BELIEVE and TRUST God's Word...and VITAL that parents (whose kids still have a choice) show them by teaching and example that they too trust God's Word even when it is difficult to do so, knowing that He has only good intentions towards us.

Again, I will say, all churches should study The Truth Project on DVD...it will challenge and convict all Christians about what their beliefs really are when compared to the actions their beliefs generate. Children are influenced by our own hypocrisy.  Change must begin with us, if we are to see it in our children.

Thanks, MDW, for contributing to this study!

TO GW:  I SO welcome all of your thoughts and questions, please. And I think your thoughts might be right on: "it appears there will some authority given to Man" in the end, just as there was at the beginning in the Garden.  I believe it is God's restoration of man to his pre-ordained dominion (authority) over the earth; the same earth which is now under the authority (if man continues to give it to him by believing his lies) of Satan and his minions.

Isn't it amazing that we have read this scripture so many times, but when we are discussing how the church is to judge "kingdom" issues, suddenly that part about judging angels jumps out at us? Whether that is to "judge angels" in the sense of a trial or whether it means "having authority over" as in governing...I am not sure, but perhaps both. Remember the warriors who will come with Christ at His second coming to do battle at Armageddon?  Who is the army with Christ and who are they fighting? I believe the army is the saints, believers, who have died in Christ or have been "caught up with Christ in the air" and "changed in the twinkling of an eye" prior to this battle.  Who are they fighting?  Persons who are by then perhaps completely possessed by Satan; thus demonic powers or fallen angels.

But now, let's look at this in a completely different sense.  Are we not the BODY of Christ?  Christ is in us; He is the HEAD of the BODY? So when, at the last judgment, all are judged, which must include every being, even angels, good or bad, who will be judging them? The Word of God tells us that it will be Jesus who judges all; so where is the BODY of Christ when Christ is judging? Are you seeing this?

And who will rule in the Millenium period? Christ.  So what is the BODY of Christ going to be doing? Ruling with Christ who is the HEAD of the BODY.

And when the world is restored completely, the old earth done away with and a new earth in its place, who will dwell in the City known as the New Jerusalem?  The BODY of Christ, with Christ the HEAD of the BODY being the light that takes the place of any need for a sun.

I believe there is much more to the mystery of the BODY of Christ than we have explored. and I might have it all wrong at this point (just theorizing not claiming this to be biblical truth...please get that whoever is reading this!)  Definitely, could be another study on this point alone! Thank you, GW, for sharing with us your experience and throughts regarding your own divorce. Would you want to expound a bit about the "shame" issues attached to divorce? 

There is always so much to work through in divorce or even separation or just plain marital conflicts; all times when we can become the most vulnerable to all the lies of hte enemy who wants to bring us down and keep us there.  In those times, we need the strength, wisdom, and encouragement from brothers and sisters in Christ.  We need scriptural wisdom that does not arrive packaged in "trite" easy answers to address the hurt that we are dealing with. 

Judging Kingdom Issues

So what do we do when we realize that we have yoked ourselves unequally to an unbeliever, either by our own willfullness or, as has happened to many Christians, to someone we thought was a believer, but once the marriage vows were finished, it came to light that it was all smoke and mirrors, having no basis in reality?

My search of the scriptures came up with only three options if we are to not further compound the error and step outside of God's pronounced will in this.  (If you know of other options, it is important to let us know here...scriptural of course!  We want to discuss all that is available to the believer.)

Option 1: Stay with the unbeliever, as long as the unbeliever is willing to remain in the relationship, in the hope that he or she will get saved. (This can be a very difficult thing to do for a believer, but God gives us grace to endure if we are willing to trust in Him. I have experienced this as well.  And our temporary discomfort for the sake of a lifetime of joy for our spouse should they get saved - versus neverending torment - makes it all worthwhile.)

Option 2: Separate (if the unbeliever has requested it), without divorcing, and never enter into another relationship until the unbelieving spouse has died. Some biblical teachers believe there are other scriptural reasons for separating, but the goal of such a separation is always restoration; thus divorce would not be sought in this case. [Most believers rear up at the thought of never remarrying, calling it unfair and unrealistic; but they need to take their complaints to the LORD on this one, as His Word declares that if we MUST separate, then this plan is the most beneficial to us, for reasons we will get into later.]

Option 3: Divorce (for specific biblical reasons only - at which time remarriage is allowable as the marriage covenant was broken by the specific reasons for the divorce.)

As you can see from all of these options, none are God's ideal plan for us.  His plan would have alleviated all the suffering that each of these possible options will bring, either to ourselves or to the children of the covenant relationship.  His plan calls for us to be fully submitted and obedient to Christ individually, marry only someone who is also fully submitted and obedient to Christ, and thus the two join together for an entire lifetime as one in Christ.

But because of continued sin and hardness of hearts, separation or divorce is allowed by the LORD.  But in either case, unless one is particularly hard-hearted, the loss will be comparable to a loved one dying.  In fact, I have seen divorces or separations initiated by one spouse in a way that leaves the other spouse reeling and in shock because the initiator, in his or her hard-heartedness, has not even given the courtesty of a reason for the divorce or separation.  Trying to then figure out what happened and yet being unable to do so without some communication or closure, extends the grieving process for an even longer period of time; it is incredibly cruel to the stunned spouse, yet it happens all the time in this age when marriages are taken lightly rather than as a life-long covenant.

It would seem that the next logical step in this study would be to explore each of these options in detail, to ensure that our understanding of the scriptural basis for each is correct.

But our next step must actually be ensuring that the church knows how they are to govern in such matters; for it is to the church that believers are to take such matters; not to lawyers*.  And when such matters do come before the church, the church has to be prepared: prmarily by having already appointed persons of wisdom and proper Godly character (not in appearance only, or because of their titles, but by witnesses affirming their Godly character) to rule in such matters.  These persons of wisdom must have complete and full understanding of God's principles; otherwise, worse issues will be the result.

Remember Paul's exhortation to the church at Corinth when they decided to take kingdom issues outside of the kingdom and into the worldly courts?

"If any of you has a dispute with another, do you dare to take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the LORD's people? Or do you not know that the LORD's people will judge the world?  And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases? Do you not know that we will judge angels?  How much more the things of this life? Therefore, if you have disputes about such matters, do you ask for a ruling from those whose way of life is scorned in the church?  I say this to shame you.  Is it possible that there is nobody among you wise enough to judge a dispute between believers?  But instead, one brother takes another to court - and this in front of unbelievers!  The very fact that you have lawsuits among you means you have been completely defeated already.  Why not rather be wronged?  Why not rather be cheated? Instead, you yourselves cheat and do wrong, and you do this to your brothers and sisters.  Or do you not know that wongdoers will not inherit the kindgom of God?  Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolators nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God." 1 Corinthians 6:1-10 

This was never intended to be limited to lawsuits regarding property or money alone, but to include lawsuits regarding a bill of divorcement as well; or any other matters of dispute between believers. And even more, Paul is telling them that the real problem is all of those who are not willing to be cheated or wronged, but seek instant relief from the worldly courts instead. This is the failing of all of us humans; we want relief and we want it now!  Yet Jesus allowed suffering to be a part of His life, for our sakes.  Will we do less for Him?

Paul is saying that kingdom issues are to be governed by kingdom men and women first of all; and that the secular government is only to confirm what the church has already determined is just in the eyes of God (such as receiving a legal divorce from a court according to the law of the land, AFTER the church has ruled that there are scriptural reasons for the divorce...and even then divorce must always be a last resort, not a first!) The problem with this is that in many, many cases, men and women who are not willing to submit to Christ (and thus, not to one another in a marriage covenant either), are also not willing to submit to the church; rendering God's plan to safeguard us from sin with the help of our brothers and sister in Christ, of no effect in our lives because of our rebellious and hard hearts. It is not easy to submit to a body of believers.  In fact, it is impossible for our flesh to do so!

And that is the test for us! Have we truly submitted ourselves to the rule of the LORD in our lives?  Or is our flesh still reigning?

Now as to the "wise enough to judge a dispute" believers.  Who might these be within our church?

Well, probably the elders of the church, but if not then men who meet all the qualifications of an elder, even if they are not in that position.  And possibly their wives might be part of that wisdom as well, especially as it pertains to women in the marital disputes.

If our elders have been chosen well and chosen in complete accordance with what the scripture says, then they will be men who are fully submitted to Christ in every area of their life, they will then be able to properly govern their own houses well, and are fit to govern the church as well; and their wives will be happily submitted to and respectful of the husband who has sacrificed all for her as Christ did for the church.  Here are the elder's qualifications according to 1 Timothy 3:

"Now the overseer [elder] is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.  He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect [in other words, not with an iron fist of control]. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?) He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil.  He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil's trap." 1 Timothy 3:1-7

In other words, an elder first has to show by his own life (not his recently acquired new life, but a long life of trusting in God before being put into the position of an elder) that he is truly submitted to the Lord in all of his actions, those seen, and those unseen.  How his family regards him, those closest to him, including children, and the community at large, will be very telling about whether or not the man is able to govern in church matters.

Now, who wouldn't want such a man to govern or provide wisdom to either a husband or wife who is having marital problems? I would certainly want such Godly wisdom working for me!

But if I couldn't see Christ in that elder, in just the way that 1 Timothy describes, then I would not want to submit myself, my children, or my marriage to his wisdom.

I am saying all of this for this purpose:  if the church is to govern on kindgom issues, it must first elect men to the the work of elders according to kindgom principles in the first place.  The church must judge the potential candidates from a position of long-term knowledge of who these men are, how their families are, how their children are, and then, and only then, if all is according to 1 Timothy, they should be installed as elders.  It is because of the solemnity of governing the things of God, such as disputes within the marriage covenant, that great care must be given to choosing such elders in the first place.  It cannot be rushed, it cannot be haphazard; it must be completely scriptural.  Or again, our church is a weakened entity having no authority to govern by virtue of its neglect of God's Word.

When the church elders are as they should be, then, when marital issues arise, the members of the body will have confidence in their wisdom, and will submit to the counsel given.  Unless, of course, those in dispute just want what they want only, and do not want to please God at all.

Next posting, we will look at the scriptural reasons necessary for any of the marriage covenant relief options above.

*Divorce and Remarriage, Tony Evans.
 

Choosing to Be Yoked With God Alone

"While Israel was staying in Shittim the men began to indulge in sexual immorality with Moabite women, who invited them to the sacrifices to their gods.  The people ate the sacrifical meal and bowed down before these gods.  So Israel yoked themselves to the Baal of Peor.  And the Lord's anger burned against them...those who died in the plague numbered 24,000." Numbers 25:1-9

"Fear the Lord your God, serve Him only and take your oaths in His name.  Do not follow other gods, the gods of the people around you; for the LORD your God, who is among you, is a jealous God and His anger will burn against you, and He will destroy you from the face of the earth." Deuteronomy 6:13-15

"When the LORD your God brings you into the land you are entering to possess and drives out before you many nations...do not intermarry with them.  Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, for they will turn your children away from following me to serve other gods, and the LORD's anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you." Deuteronomy 7:1-4

Does this principle of not intermarrying with an unbeliever still stand today? 

Lest you believe that God has changed since then and that this was on Old Testament thing only and not to be observed in the New Covenant, please read Paul's instructions to us:

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers: for what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreemeent is there between the temple of God and idols?  For we are the temple of the living God.....Therefore come out from them and be separate, touch no unclean thing and I will receive you.  And I will be  a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the LORD Almighty." 2 Corinthians 6:14-18

Do we believe this scripture?  Do we live as though we believe it and do we teach it seriously to our children so that they will believe it and not suffer the consequences of not believing it?

Parents want their children to marry well.

They hope that their daughters will marry a doctor or a lawyer; someone responsible and dependable so that all their needs will be met financially; someone who will love their daughters and be faithful always; never bringing the misery of adultery into the relationship. They hope that their sons marry women who are beautiful and intelligent and can provide a happy, stable homelife for their son and the children of the marriage; someone who will love their son and be faithful to him forever.

Love, faithfulness, responsibility, stability are all important in a marriage.

But it is possible to have at least some of these characteristics in a marriage with neither party worshipping the LORD God Almighty. There are always counterfiets to God's covenant of marriage that give the appearance of being wonderful and happy and well; but they are always lies, meant to bring us to believe it won't be that bad if we compromise in one small area such as this.

And so it is possible, if we do not teach our children well, that they will not understand what will be lost to them if they marry someone who does not worship the LORD God Almighty as they themselves do.  Love and lust are powerful persuaders that can deceive us into making the wrong choice.

We are to belong, first and foremost, to GOD, for He dwells in believers through Jesus Christ who abides in us as we abide in Him.  That makes us a set apart, holy people.  What fellowship does the light in us, Jesus, have with darkness?  How can a believer yoke themselves in marriage to an unbeliever? 

The circumstances have to be right.  They have to willingly choose love or lust over the things of God.  Or they have to have been unrepentantly disobedient in some way prior, possibly separated at least temporarily from the exhortation that might come from a church family, and be in a position of vulnerability for Satan to influence them to compromise on this most critical of issues that will affect the rest of their lives and will affect their children as well.  Sin destroys us and those we love.

And it helps greatly if the parents do not understand the importance of being equally yoked, and are not fervent and faithful in teaching this principle to their children.

Nothing but misery lies ahead as light tries to walk with darkness and finds nothing but continual conflict; and conflict such as will grieve the Spirit within the believer, and thus greatly grieve the believer as well.

It is a miserable situation that no Godly parent will want to witness their child living in.

And it will not change. UNLESS the believing spouse also turns AWAY from the LORD and begins to follow the unbelieving spouse in his or her ways; in other words, if they begin to serve other gods together.  There will be a sense of happiness in the marriage, then, because they are at last "united" in their beliefs...but spiritual death will occur and it will carry on into the next generations. There will be sorrow.  And the sorrow will be great.

Equally miserable is when the LORD brings the believer to a place of recognizing what they have entered into, and brings them to repent.  I know, I have been there.  I have seen all the consequences of disregarding God's principle for our lives regarding the mariage covenant. I have been brought to a place of repentance and still suffered continuing consequences; consequences that, once put in motion, must be fulfilled or make God a liar. (*)

So greatly is this to be avoided...and yet most parents do not value God's principle for their children, because they have missed the importance of it themselves.  We are so compromised with the world these days, that we can't see it.  And we suffer the consequences, and allow our children to suffer the consequences, and even their children to suffer the consequences.

It will continue to happen if we don't abide in the Word and teach our children to do so as well.

Once God establishes a divine principle, it cannot be any other way than as He says it will be when we go against that principle.  That is why it is so vital that we know, understand, live and teach these principles to our children.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates." Deuteronomy 6: 5-9

"...so that you your children and their children after them may fear the LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all His decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life. Hear, Israel, and be careful to obey so that it may go well with you and that you may increase greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the LORD, the God of your ancestors, promised you." Deuteronomy 6:2-3

(*) Even as we suffer the consequences of our faithless choices, God is faithful to the repentant heart to not abandon us in the midst of what we have initiated. Abraham and Sarah's decision to utilize Hagar was not God's prinicple being lived out, but He did not abandon them.  Still, what consequences came of that decision that are still being played out even today?  How might Abraham and Sarah re-think that choice if they had the hindsight to see what it would bring about?  The same goes for King David and his sinful choices, yet God did not abandon him, even as he witnessed the deaths of his own children as consequences of his sinful actions.



 

Signs and Terms of the Covenant

So, we are continuing where we left off yesterday in our discussion of the marriage covenant and God's passion for its preservation.

When God formed a covenant with Noah, there was a sign attached, and that sign was the rainbow.  Now we might think that God set the rainbow in the sky so that Noah would remember God's covenant, and in fact, we all should remember God's covenant with Noah whenever we see a rainbow because we are included in the protective terms of that covenant.  But the rainbow is actually a reminder to God Himself about His covenant with Noah:

"And God said, 'This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth.  Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.  So God said to Noah , 'This is the sign of the covenant I have established between me and all life on earth." Genesis 9:12-17

In the covenant God made with Noah, only God was responsible to fulfill the covenant requirements that God set: 'Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life.'  Noah had no specific requirement, and was at no risk of the penalties of breaking covenant with God in this case.

In a marriage covenant, both parties are responsible to fulfill the covenant terms and conditions.  The sign of the covenant is the wedding ring. It serves as a reminder to both spouses of the covenant into which they have entered with each other and the respective vows they have spoken to each other before God. So what are the penalties if one or the other breaks the covenant?

Well, let's look at two other covenants.  The first is the one between God and Abram:

"So, the Lord said to him, 'Bring me a heifer, a goat and a ram, each three years old, along with a dove and a young pigeon.' Abram bought all these to Him, cut them in two and arranged the halves opposite each other....When the sun had set and darkness had fallen, a smoking firepot with a blazing torch appeared and passed between the pieces.  On that day the Lord made a covenant with Abram..." Genesis 15:9-18

When a covenant is established, it begins with an animal that has been cut in half lengthwise, symbolizing to the covenant parties, as they pass between the two halves of the animal, that if either of them fails to keep the covenant, it should be done to them as it was done to this animal.  In other words, death.

In the following passage, Moses is speaking to the Israelites about what was to happen to any Israelite who did not keep the covenant between them and God, which they all willingly agreed to, concerning one of the ten commandments.  Consider the seriousness of a covenant to God as you read this:

"If a man or woman living among you in one of the towns the LORD gives you is found doing evil in the eyes of he LORD your God in violation of His covenant, and contrary to my command has worshiped other gods, bowing down to them or to the sun or the moon or the stars in the sky...If it is true and it has been proved that this detestable thing has been done in Israel, take the man or woman who has done this evil deed to your city gate and stone that person to death....You must purge the evil from among you." Deuteronomy 17:2-7

....concerning a woman who loses her virginity prior to marriage, whose husband finds out on their wedding night that she is not a virgin:

"If, however, the charge is true and no proof of the young woman's virginity can be found, she shall be brought to the door of her father's house and there the men of her town shall stone  her to death.  She has done an outrageous thing in Israel by being promiscuous while still in her father's house. You must purge the evil from among you." Deuteronomy 22:20-21

....concerning adultery:

"If a man is found sleeping with another man's wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die.  You must purge the evil from Israel." Deuteronomy 22:22

...concerning vows made unto the Lord:

"If you make a vow to the Lord your God, do not be slow to pay it, for the LORD your God will certainly demand it of you and you will be guilty of sin.  But if you refrain from making a vow, you will not be quilty.  Whatever your lips utter you must be sure to do, because you made your vow freely to the LORD your God with your own mouth." Deuteronomy 23:21-23

A covenant can bear a penalty of death when it is broken.  A covenant can involve vows made with God as a witness or to God directly.  In either case, a covenant is a serious and solemn thing.

Now obviously, there are a lot of broken marriage covenants out there, and most of those folks who broke covenant are still walking around...alive and well.

And yet, God does not change.  The breaking of a marriage covenant and its respective vows are serious in God's eyes.

So, in lieu of being stoned to death these days (which might still happen in an Arab country, perhaps, I don't really know), but does not happen here in America or in most more progressive and civilized countries, are there any consequences of beaking a marriage covenant?

Or are we simply to look at the exqample of Old Testament covenants, be thankful that it can't happen to us, and proceed full steam ahead when tempted towards unfaithfulness or divorce.  Do we really consider God in this covenant?  Do we really consider that we have covenanted with Him as the third party witness to this covenant as well?  Do we take that seriously? Do we have any fear of God in us at all?  Or are we so determined that 'God is love' and that is all there is to Him, leaving us with nothing to fear no matter what our choices?

Perhaps death does not come to the individual as quickly and in the same way as it did in the Israelite camps. But perhaps it still comes.

Is it possible that the consequences of millions of broken marriage covenants might still arrive at our door step...later rather than sooner...but still just as sure?  And that maybe instead of a physical death, it will be a collective spiritual death instead...

...one that will result in the death of our nation?

Consider that we no longer teach our children how strongly God feels about virginity, marriage,  adultery, divorce.  We spend little time in the Old Testament where God lays out His plan for us and shows us how He feels about every issue of life. We often no longer show them by our own example that we believe how seriously it is to go against God's will in these matters; perhaps this is because we don't really believe it.

Believers and the church body they comprise no longer govern the marriage covenants in their church family; they no longer hold both parties accountable to their vows. to each other and to God, doinbg all that is within their power to preserve the marriage. And often when they do actually step in to try to preserve a marriage, they are too quick to judge the matter as one-sided, and focus on one party, when in reality it is almost always both parties that are guilty of not walking in obedience to both God and their marriage vows before God.

Obedience to God as a first and foremost priority is seldom preached from pulpits these days; and the church no longer holds its members accountable to God's Word, in part because we no longer believe all of God's word (all of His commands) apply to us today.  We no longer purge the evil from among us and are weakened by the sin in our midst.

We have become slack towards God.  Our children have become even more slack towards God.  Their children are still more slack than any of us towards God.  The state of our nation is a direct consequence of our individual and collective disobedience.

And we are all guilty for we no longer fear God.

"Fear the LORD your God, serve Him only and take your oaths in His name.  Do not follow other gods, the gods of the people around you; for the LORD your God, who is among you, is a jealous God and His anger will burn against you, and He will destroy you from the face of the land....Be sure to keep the commands of the LORD your God and the stipulations and decrees He has given you. Do what is right and good in the LORD's sight, so that it may go well with you and you may go in and take over the good land the LORD promised on oath to your ancestors, thrusting out all your enemies before you, as the LORD said." Deuteronomy 6:13-19




 

The Marriage Covenant

In today's modern (and often God-less age) the marriage covenant has, in many cases, been reduced to a loosely-held agreement or social contract with an implied understanding that the contract will continue only for as long as the arrangement meets the self-actualizing** needs of both parties (financially, emotionally, physically, socially, etc.); and is subject to dissolution when such needs are no longer being met.

A self-actualizing person is defined as one who is in the process of fulfilling his or her potential. Self-actualization is a psychological term and secular in the sense that God is not a necessary part of this fulfillment....the individual can do this all by himself. Thus, in today's culture, a marriage is often dissolved when one spouse decides that his or her own self-actualizing potential is being hindered by the other spouse.

Many folks today believe that the easy and quick dissolution of a marriage relationship is only about the two individuals who agree (or disagree to dissolve). But our choices are never just about us.  And a marriage contract such as this is simply a demonically-inspired counterfeit to God's plan for a marriage. 

God ordained marriage to be a "covenant" relationship: solemn, binding and perpetual - meant to be everlasting.  Listen to His own words about marriage being a "covenant" and what happens between God and the party who breaks that covenant:

"You flood the Lord's altar with tears.  You weep and wail because He no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands.  You ask, "Why?"

It is because the LORD is the witness between you and the wife of your youth.  You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant." Malachi 2:13-14

The Lord is passionate about the marriage covenant and is passionately against the one who breaks such a covenant.  This is because He understands better than any of us how critical a marriage relationship is.  It was ordained to produce children; who grow up and marry and produce other children; all of whom impact the community, and ultimately the entire nation.  That nation can consist and be governed by the offspring of marriage "contracts" who don't know God or it can consist and be governed by the offspring of marriage "covenants" who do know God. The difference is critical to all of us as a nation.

"Has not the one God made you? You belong to Him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth."  Malachi 2:15

R.C. Sproul says that  "People avoid the covenant of marriage because they want to have irresponsible relationships, but such relationships are hazardous to human life.  God has created us so that we blossom as human beings when we conform to God's covenantal structures.  When we live irresponsibly, we destroy ourselves and others....living by covenants is God's method to anchor our lives and provide security against the prevailing cultural disintegration."

Folks in today's culture insist on "keeping their options open" which translates into "I don't want to be tied down."  They think they provide freedom for themselves by entering into living arrangements without the marriage covenant OR by entering lightly into the "social" marriage contract - one meant for convenience rather than endurance.

It is BECAUSE God is a part of the marriage "covenant," as He intends it to be, that each individual experiences true freedom and reaches their highest potential and purpose - not for themselves - but for God's kingdom and God's glory.  It is God who performs this in those who have submitted their lives (and their flesh) to God's rule.  And in can only happen - for the kingdom and for God's glory - within the structure of a marriage "covenant" with God as its witness.

What is the significance of having a witness to a marriage covenant?

In the community, witnesses to the bride and groom are normally closest friends or close family  members.  They witness the vows spoken by the bride and groom for the intended purpose of supporting them later in times of trouble and encouraging them to remember their vows and to push on through the troubles.  It is the community of friends and family that take a part in this encouragement to push through, to endure, to change as needed - all in order to maintain the sanctity of that marriage relationship.

Having God as the witness brings another element into the preservation of the marriage covenant.  He brings the "church" into it.  The "church" (little c, not big C) comprised of believers who trust in Jesus, the Word of God, has been gven the responsibility to "govern" the things of the church, including the loving preservation of the marriage covenants within its body of believers, or the necessary accountability partnering when problems arise, and even disciplinary actions when adultery in any form (including pornography addiction) is involved (more to come on this subject later).

Now, in our fiercely independent culture that wants to exclude God, the church seldom plays the role God intended it to play in marriages...mostly because the parties to the marriage covenant will not allow the church to enter in, prayerfully and with love and wisdom, to attempt to alleviate the source of the trouble - usually found in one and most often in both parties of the covenant.  Often the parties in conflict just want what they want...and they can't see past that...and they will not receive even Godly wisdom.

And sometimes the church itself doesn't recognize the governing authority it has been given by God; and wanting to not "interfere" also does not govern.  Yet the church has a particular interest in preserving the sanctity of the marriage covenant, as it will affect the church body as a whole, beginning in the families of the spouses, then friends, then the church as a whole, and on and on it goes; all of which affects God's kingdom and glory

The church should be active in safeguarding the covenant of marriage, and thus the family unit, and thus the community, and thus the nation, and thus the glory of God.

...to be continued...

[**self-actualization is a term I recently heard used in a Bible study called "The Truth Project" by Focus on the Family...every church should have that study...it is incredibly informative, deeply challenging and at times uncomfortably convicting.  On the surface, the characteristics of a self-actualizing individual appear positive and good and seems to be something we should all strive for. But this is the case for all of the ploys that Satan uses to bring God's children into a position of compromise without them even being aware of it unless they remain alert (awake!) and on their guard for such deceptions.  The compromise here is that God is unnecessary...man has all that he needs within himself to achieve these "good" goals.  An example of this is being seen in television commercials right now.  You might have seen them: short snippets of tender loving family moments that end with a one word title such as "INSPIRATION" or "PATIENCE".  I saw one of these for the first time two weeks ago and wondered who the "Foundation for a Better Life" really was.  A quick google search showed me that it is a secular foundation, not tied into any church organization of any kind, whose purpose is to promote "positive values" most likely thinking that this will make things better for us as a whole.  Not "Christian or Godly" values, mind you, just "positive" values.  Harmless and sweet on the surface; yet further promoting our culture's viewpoint that man is basically "good" - having no need of a Savior.  And so what appears to be sweet and harmless is actually DEADLY, for what does not lead us towards God leads us away from God.]

A Foundation and a Preface

It is because I am a believer in the WORD of God made flesh whose name is JESUS, that I am also a believer in the Word of God that we know as the Bible.  But I must qualify that by saying that I believe not only everything the New Testament says, but I also believe everything that the Old Testament says.  Thus, I believe the entire Bible and I believe that every bit of it is of benefit to us if we receive it as benefit rather than harm.

I love the words that Jesus spoke and when time is limited, I turn to the red-letter portions of my Bible just to be infused once more with the instructions Jesus gave to whoever was gathered around him at the time, as I know those instructions will guide my life just as they were guided.

But I do not neglect the entire Bible in preference for only the words of Jesus, and so I am often in the Old Testament equally as much as the New Testament.

And thus the foundation for this study of marriage and remarriage is set: the entire Bible, both Old Testament and New Testament passages regarding marriage and remarriage will be considered, none will be neglected, with he Lord's help.

The Old Testament shows us the HOLINESS of God, with instruction provided so that we can be holy as He is holy. ["I am the LORD, who brought you up out of Egypt to be your God; therefore be holy, because I am holy." Lev. 11:45]  It isn't that the Old Testament doesn't show God's love and goodness towards us as well, but the focus, in my view, is of HIS Holiness.

The New Testament shows the LOVE of God towards us, with instructions provided that teach us how to love God in return by our obedience to Him. ["We know that we have come to know Him if we keep His commands.  Whoever says, 'I know Him,' but does not do what He commands is a liar, and the truth is not in that person.  But if anyone obeys His Word, love for God is truly made complete in them. This is how we know we are in Him: Whoever claims to live in Him must live as Jesus did." 1 John 2:3-6]; only after we have done that are we then able to properly and scripturally love one another. Here again, it isn't that the holiness of God is not demonstrated in the New Testament, for God does not change [Malachi 3:6: "I the LORD do not change."]; but the focus is on His loving-kindness and goodness towards us being revealed to us so that we will choose to love Him in return.

The LOVE of God towards us, however, never has and never will override the HOLINESS of God and His expectations for us to be holy as He is holy. 

And therein lies the "catch" for many of us Christians.  And here begins the preface to the study which we must consider before we dig into God's Word or there will be no transformation in those areas of our lives that need to be transformed by God's Word; and there will be no power in the church.

The "catch" is that we attempt to focus on loving the Lord and loving one another, while spending little time attending to personal holiness which is, put another way, OBEDIENCE to the Lord. The former should be done while not neglecting the latter.  In fact, how can we say that we LOVE the Lord when we know we have prevailing sin, sin that shows up over and over and over again?  Sin that shows we have not died to ourselves as we have been instructed to do.

And if we don't love the Lord according to His instructions on how we are to love Him, then how can we truly and biblically be loving one another? 

And if we are not loving one another, then, when it comes to our being the church, perhaps we are only "playing" church.  And we will never be the light in the darkness that God ordained the church to be..

Love without personal obedience to the Lord (for only individual obedience can lead to corporate obedience in the church body - you cannot put the cart before the horse on this one) is love that is defined by the worldview rather than the biblical view.  The world's view of love will cause us to dance around on politically-correct eggshells regarding each other's sin and our own, except for those blatantly external ones that must be dealt with quickly - such as drugs, alcohol, even cigarettes.  Sometimes we have a little talk with those who are living together in an unmarried state and our quick solution to that sin is to make sure they get married...no matter that they might be unequally yoked. (In this case, two wrongs don't make anything right!)

In other words, we are no different than the Pharisees [Matthew 23:27 - "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean.  In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous, but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness."]  We are OFTEN overly-concerned with the exterior sins that can be seen, and neglect to focus on the interior sins that are visible only to those closest to us....such as pride, self-centeredness, neglect of God in our personal lives when no one is watching, being impatient, unloving, unforgiving, overbearing and harsh with one another in private (all the things that affect elationships between husbands and wives, parents and children, and brothers and sisters in the church), all the while being careful to portray only unity and peace when in the presence of others. And I am not advocating that we act as hatefully towards each other in public as we do in private for the sake of simply being honest.  (Again, TWO wrongs do not make anything right!)  It is these inward sins that can be the most devastating to relationships; and thus to churches.

We know our personal inward sins, but we do not confess these sins to one another in the body of Christ even though we are commanded to ["Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." James 5:16].  We manage somehow to neglect that little command, especially if we are leaders in that body and sometimes even if we are not, simply because we are still playing the game of "dressing up for church on Sunday" rather than carrying a fear of the Lord that leads us to rush to get help from our brothers and sisters, at any cost, against these prevailing sins in our lives.  We do not want to be held accountable to one another. We want only to be accountable to our God who is not physically present with us, and with whom we have become hard of hearing because of our unconfessed sin.  We don't want to change.  We just want others around us to change!

We do have an advocate with the Father through Jesus and so we are to take our sins to Him, which is proper and right according to God's Word. We are to go to Him immediately with any recognized sin in our lives.  But we are also to submit to one another and to encourage and exhort one another; for others can see in us what we cannot.  They are not deceived by our sin, as we are,  And if we do not allow such encouragement and exhortation...if we keep each other at arm's length for sake of pride...or if we become immediately defensive with those who try to exhort us...then we are not walking in either humility or obedience, have not repented (and are liars) according to John: we do not know Jesus!

The fact of the matter is that far too often we Christians will pick and choose which commandments are convenient to us to follow.  Or we pick those commandments that tend to fit in with the worldview which we have allowed to compromise our belief system.  But, we cannot continue to do so if we really desire to be a powerful light in the darkness...if we hope to see the lost saved....if we hope to walk in peace and unity with one another.  It is only the "effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man" that avails much  (also James 5:16).

Cheap grace is when we stop short after claiming Christ's righteousness for our own, deciding that the covering of His righteousness is all that we needed to be saved and sanctified, and so we are pretty well free to carry on in sin; neglecting to use the power Christ has given us through the Holy Spirit to overcome sin and actually become holy, not by our will or our power, but by the power of God.  Christ's righteousness IS our own, but only when we utilize what He has given us to become righteous in imitation of Himself.  John says if we are not being obedient it doesn't matter what we think we know about Christ, or whether we have said the sinner's prayer. or whether we "claim" the blood of Jesus over our lives.  They are just words if we are not walking in obedience. We are liars and we don't know Jesus Christ at all!

Without Jesus, there would be no access to the Father, no pardon for our sins, no hope of life abundant and everlasting. Jesus lived to show us the way to live and bring glory to the Father, He died to take our punishment for sin, He rose from the dead by the power of God to become the first of us to receive the promise of life everlasting, and He left the Comforter to give us power to overcome sin and thereby prove that we DO know Him!

These are all things to keep in mind as we go forward in this study. There will be difficult truths to face, but we must face them and we must choose to be obedient to them. If we are not obedient personally, it will show up in our families and loved ones, and then in the church, and then in our communities, and then in our state, and then in our country.

In fact, it already has.

We must begin with Christ in us, leading us by the power of the Holy Spirit of God into obedience to the Father's commands; and thus into the proper way of loving God...and others.





 

The Disobedience-Weakened Church

"To the angel of the church in Laodicea write:

These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the ruler of God's creation.  I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot.  I wish you were either one or the other!  So, because you are lukewarm - neither hot nor cold - I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.  I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.  Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline.  So be earnest and repent.  Here I am!  I stand at the door and knock.  If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.  To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne.  Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches." (Reveleation 3:14-22 NIV)

Much has been said by preachers and teachers of the Word regarding the possibility that the church of Laodicea reflects not only an actual gathering of believers in Laodicea at the time of the disciple John who was given this vision, but is also on another level prophetically referring to a group of people existing today.  The question is: who exactly?

If not read carefully, it could be easy to read this passage of scripture and assign it to much of North America, Europe, and even Asia, for the nations of these two continents have enjoyed increased wealth in much of the century just past and still today, and as a whole have come to trust upon their own resources, both personally and as a nation, more than they trust in the Lord.

We could also, if not careful, easily assign this passage of scripture to unbelievers, for unbelievers do not think that they have need of the Lord or they would have turned to Him and become believers already. 

But it is abundantly clear that this passage, sadly, speaks only of the church: that group of people who have been called out, set apart, to be holy as the Lord is holy..

And it is abundantly clear as well that there is indeed something to be repented of; and that it is something so great that it has turned people who should have been blessed of the Lord (being His children) into what appears instead to be poor homeless people: wretched, pitiful, blind, naked.

And not just homeless, but insane as well, as these homeless people are seen boasting about their talents and abilities in acquiring the "wealth" which has made them, in the reality with which the Lord sees them, to be wretched, and pitiful, and blind, and naked.

Does a church that is obedient to the Lord need to repent?  No.

But a church that is walking in disobedience does.

Thus, I plan to devote the next few postings to a biblical study of obedience versus disobedience, truth versus lies, politically-correct theology versus biblical instructions straight from the heart of God supplied to us by His Word.

And, due to recent experiences in my own life, I want to begin this study of obedience to the Word of God with that which pertains to marriage, including today's tendencies to ignore or neglect those passages of scripture within the Word of God that pertain to re-marriage; for our churches are filled with folks who have been re-married, some having been remarried in accordance with the Word, others, even though they were Christians at the time, having done so in direct disobedience to the Word.

Is the remedy to blatant disobedience a simple, "Sorry, Lord" and continue on as is? (Why am I reminded of Bonhoffer's term: cheap grace?)

 Or is there more that the Lord expects from His separate, called out, living in holiness church?  And if so, what?

That is what I want to dig into the Word for, to fully understand; for I believe that the church has been too complacent about disobedience for too long and the result is a weakened church.

And until we face the truth of God's Word in regards to our own actions, we, the church that the Lord is rebuking and disciplining today and calling to repentance, will remain wretched, pitiful, blind and naked, while continuing to believe (contrary to reality) that we are displaying the glory of a very Holy God to a world in sin.