"Now Sarai Abram's wife bare him no children: and she had an handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar. And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai. And Sarai Abram's wife took Hagar her maid the Egyptian, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife. And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived: and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes. And Sarai said unto Abram, My wrong be upon thee: I have given my maid into thy bosom; and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes: the LORD judge between me and thee. But Abram said unto Sarai, Behold, thy maid is in thy hand; do to her as it pleaseth thee. And when Sarai dealt hardly with her, she fled from her face." (Genesis 16:1-6)
Ten years have passed since God first mentioned Abram's "seed" to Abram (see Genesis chapter 12); but Abram and Sarai are still childless. Apparently, ten years is the limit for Sarai's patience in waiting on God. I don't know that I would have had the patience to wait even as long as Sarai did; after all Abram was already just past 75 years old and Sarai just past 65 years old when "seed" was first mentioned. Surely, time was a-wastin'. Sarai knew she was now long past the normal child-bearing age. Who can blame Sarai for her actions; or Abram for listening to and agreeing with Sarai?
But the consequences of Sarai's actions are recorded to help us learn a valuable lesson, and that is that the blessing that we derive from God's promises are only blessings to us if we wait on Him, on His timing, no matter how long. To jump ahead of God, as Sarai did, is to bring upon ourselves consequences that will not prove to be blessings at all. We will see in future chapters that this changed attitude of Hagar's will get worse as times goes on. It certainly would have been better if Sarai had remained barren, rather than jump ahead. God HAD promised, and He would fulfill that promise without fail eventually; if only Sarai had waited.
Seeing that Sarai was impatient is the easiest part of this passage to understand. The rest of it is rather confusing at first glance.
For example, why would Sarai and Abram both believe that taking a second "wife" would be acceptable to God? And why does Sarai come back and blame Abram when Hagar becomes surly towards Sarai? It was Sarai's idea in the first place, so why blame Abram for it? Did Abram throw the blame back on Sarai (or at least not take responsibility for it) by basically saying, "Look she's your handmaid, you deal with it?"
Let's expound upon each of these issues.
Why did Sarai suggest Abram's taking of Hagar as a wife? This was not something that Sarai came up with on her own; it was the socially acceptable custom of those times. Children were important, especially sons. If a wife was barren, the next best way to obtain a legal heir was to "legally" wed the wife's handmaiden. But remember that just because something is acceptable to the current-day society at large, does not mean it is acceptable to God. And such was the case here, as we will see further in this chapter. Nevertheless, Abram agreed, not only because it was socially acceptable, but possibly also because he thought, as we might think in the same circumstances, that perhaps this is what God intended when He said Abram would have "seed." Maybe this was the way God was going to fulfill that promise. We all have experienced times when it's difficult to know the method that God will use, and easy for us to "assume" one method is correct, and yet be way off base as far as God's plan goes. Again, God understands our humanness, and, while we still have to accept the consequences of our choices, He does not give up on us too easily. He certainly did not give up on Abram; and He does not give up on us either.
Regarding Sarai blaming Abram for Hagar's surliness…well, tables have turned. Adam blamed the woman in the garden of Eden, now the woman is blaming the man; just more humanness at work. But then Abram blunders by not taking responsibility as head of the household to handle the situation. Instead, he rather cowardly sidesteps the necessary confrontation and turns the job over to Sarai. Isn't it Interesting that he was able to face hostile kings in battle, but avoided dealing with a disgruntled wife, or two. Perhaps things might have gone differently, had Hagar received proper "attitude adjustment" counseling from the head of the household; but instead two wives were left to deal with each other.
There is just no way that could have gone well; as we will see proof of in the remainder of the chapter to be discussed tomorrow.
2 comments:
Sarai doesn't mention to Abram, when complaining about being barren and telling him to take Hagar, that she has been praying to God over the ten year period. We would assume she was, but I would think this would have been something she would have said, or would have been mentioned in the Bible. You would have thought she would say, "Abram, look at us, we are in our 70s and 80s now, God said I would have a child. During this ten year period, I have prayed and prayed; yet no answer. Here, take Hagar and she will bear you a child - - an heir." It just seems logical if she had been in constant prayer, it would have been mentioned. Trust me, ten years is a long time and I agree, I believe my limit would have been much earlier than that, but I just cannot figure out how she believed Hagar was the answer. If she truly believed this was God's plan (that Hagar was to be the vessel for Abram's heir), why wait the ten years? Why didn't she present Hagar to Abram much sooner? And, if having a second wife was the answer, why chose someone that obviously wasn't of their faith? Further on in the chapter, we learn that Hagar's offspring will become the beginning of the Arab Nation and with this offspring strive between it and Israel. Abram and Sarai must have known of Hagar's believes at the time, why would they believe she was the vessel for God's plan? I can only imagine the heartache of Sarai, wanting a baby, an heir for her family was very important. But, the fact that God had taken care of the both of them and He was speaking audibly to Abram, her husband, you would think that she would use the "direct" form of communication to God, instead of some preconceived plan based on human emotions - - the desire to have a child. This is the quintessential example of the ends doesn't justify the means!
Just remember that Abram went along with Sarai's plan...BOTH of them after such a long period of time, still apparently believed God was going to give them an heir, but came to a point where they doubted whether they understood what God had in mind. I think this was them saying "Maybe we missed God on this, maybe He is going to give us this child in the normal customary way that society around us does it." After all, it was "normal" operating procedure for the culture at that time. It just wasn't "normal" God procedure. I have tried to second-guess God on many occasions myself...only to find out later that I needn't have bothered. Better if I had just waited on God...the hardest thing for us humans to do, isn't it? Oh, but how blessed to pass THAT test!
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