"And as one of them opened his sack to give his ass provender in the inn, he espied his money; for behold, it was in his sack's mouth. And he said unto his brethren, My money is restored; and lo, it is even in my sack: and their hearts failed them, and they were afraid, saying one to another, What is this that God hath done unto us? And they came unto Jacob their father unto the land of Canaan, and told him all that befell unto them; saying, The man, who is the lord of the land, spake roughly to us, and took us for spies of the country. And we said unto him, We are true men; we are no spies: We be twelve brethren, sons of our father; one is not, and the youngest is this day with our father in the land of Canaan. And the man, the lord of the country, said unto us, Hereby shall I know that ye are true men; leave one of your brethren here with me, and take food for the famine of your households, and be gone. And bring your youngest brother unto me: then shall I know that ye are no spies, but that ye are true men: so will I deliver you your brother, and ye shall traffick in the land. And it came to pass as they emptied their sacks that, behold, every man's bundle of money was in his sack: and when both they and their father saw the bundles of money, they were afraid. And Jacob their father said unto them, Me have ye bereaved of my children: Joseph is not, and Simeon is not, and ye will take Benjamin away: all these things are against me. And Reuben spake unto his father, saying Slay my two sons, if I bring him not to thee: deliver him into my hands, and I will bring him to thee again. And he said, My son shall not go down with you; for his brother is dead, and he is left alone: if mischief befall him by the way in the which ye go, then shall ye bring down my gray hairs with sorrow to the grave." (Genesis 42:27-38)
A guilty conscience is a terrible thing. The brothers, having found all of their money restored to them, yet knowing that they had indeed turned that money over to the governor of Egypt (Joseph), felt instantly that this was God's hand at work; and because their minds were darkened with the guilt of that evil done so long ago, they immediately assumed God was out to have his vengeance on them. They were so fearful of God's impending wrath that their hearts nearly stopped working altogether. They were terrified.
Such are the thoughts of anyone who is living in the darkness of their sin. The darkness causes them to see God as a Judge only. They cannot draw near to God for fear of Him and of His great wrath that they are sure is about to fall on them at any moment. They live their lives in misery, forgetting the goodness of God, because the fear has consumed them….fear brought on by a guilty conscience. This misery and fear colors everything in their lives. They have become the most miserable of creatures.
But this same God whom they fear is the same God who says in Isaiah 1:18-20 "Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool. If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land…" Here is the same God, talking to sinners no different than Joseph's brethren, wanting them to come to Him; He is calling them to Himself, calling them to repentance. He is calling them to come out of the darkness and deception of sin, into the light of His mercy and grace.
Some folks, such as Joseph's brothers, harden their hearts and hold on to their sins for years and years. And because they remain in darkness (the darkness being the place where their sins remain hidden…or so they believe) their consciences speak to them in their unrepentant state of the wrath of God that WILL fall on those who reject the kindness of the Lord: "But if ye refuse and rebel, ye shall be devoured with the sword: for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it." (Isaiah 1:20)
Yet God's wrath does not come only because they have sinned, it comes because they have sinned and not repented of that sin. It comes because they will not receive the free gift of God's love and forgiveness. In fact, their rejection of an Almighty God's kindness and mercy is as though they spat upon Him. Thus, when such kindness and mercy is offered only to be venomously rejected, wrath IS all one has to look forward to; and misery descends.
In the case of Joseph's brothers, the years of guiltiness bear down upon them with a great weight. They have never confessed their sin to their father, the one (besides Joseph himself and most likely his younger brother Benjamin) who suffered so greatly because of their sin. And thus the fear of God's impending judgment for their unrepentant sin is so great that "their hearts failed them" at the thought that His wrath was imminent.
I believe this is why Joseph wept. I believe he wept seeing the anguish his own unrepentant brothers were suffering looking for the judgment of God to fall upon them.
Much as Jesus wept over unrepentant Jerusalem: "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!" (Matthew 23:37)
Joseph could have blamed God for his hardship and affliction, just as most of mankind today wants to blame God and reject Him because of the death and destruction that sin-filled men in a sin-filled world bring to pass; along with the evil help of Satan, of course, who scours the earth seeking whom he can destroy: "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour." (1 Peter 5:8)
But that is not who God is. And Joseph knew that. He knew the goodness of God and he never forgot it through all the 13 years of his captivity, even though his brothers did not know God as well.
Our God is One who loves each of us in this world so much:
"…that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved.
He that believeth on Him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.
For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.
But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God." (John 3:16-21)
There is a quick solution to the misery of a guilty conscience: confess it to God, receive the gift of His mercy and forgiveness through Jesus Christ, and LIVE in the light of peace with God.
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