Love is Neither Rude Nor Self-Centered

1 Corinthians 13:5a:

"It is not rude, it is not self-seeking…" (NIV)

"Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own…" (KJV)

Strong's Concordance says "unseemly" means to "unbecomingly"…or, in other words, not in a manner that is unbecoming to a follower of Jesus Christ. Love is not rude; and love is not self-centered, seeking only things that can benefit one's self.

I once knew a woman, who while a very upright and moral person in every regard, was known for saying whatever she felt like saying. There was no effort put forth on restraining her tongue. If someone's feelings got hurt by what she said, she chalked it up to them being "too sensitive" rather than, perhaps, that she was overly critical, truly harsh, and downright rude.

The thing is that people like this seldom spend a lot of time considering others. That isn't to say that they don't consider them ever….but what takes precedence is themselves over others. In other words, if it is beneficial to them to think of others, then they will. If, for example, they can get a "public pat on the back" or display that they are "good" people by being generous or kind here and there, then it becomes worthwhile for them to do so. But it is not the norm. And the motivation is always what is best for themselves, because it is themselves that they care about most. If the ship is sinking, they will shove people out of the way to get to the life boat. It just never seems to fail that if someone is rude, they are often rude because they are selfish. So the two go hand in hand quite often, if not always.

As followers of Christ, having experienced perfect love, this should not be what is seen in us. Our grateful heart that has experienced the deep undeserving love of Jesus Christ, never forgets, and wants to share that same self-less love with others. Because Jesus is who we seek to please, rather than ourselves, then He directs us towards outward actions that demonstrate His love for mankind, whether mankind appears to be deserving or especially when mankind appears to be undeserving of His love…and of our attentions.

Our motivation has nothing to do with what feels good to us. Often, we can get weary in following Christ towards the many people He would direct us to in one day or one week. Yet we persevere, for weariness or discomforts cannot quench what He has done for us and how much we want to do for Him in return….not as a debt, for what He did for us was a free gift…and yet still as a debtor always for what He did for us...and all with a grateful heart. The actions we take for the benefit of others then, becomes joy for us, that we have so blessed the Lord by showing others His love through our self-LESS-ness; models of HIS self-LESS-ness on OUR behalves. We love Him because He FIRST loved US!

So can we then say that we Christians are NEVER rude, NEVER self-focused and self-seeking? I am afraid we cannot say that.

I can say, however, that the more we remember His love for us, the more grateful we remain during every possible moment for all that he has done for us, the less likely we will be to act unbecomingly towards others.

The moral but rude woman described above, did not know the Lord. She had no joy in her life. She turned to "things" to try to ease her misery, rather than the Lord; but she remained unhappy and miserable. And it showed.

We are lit from within with JOY. That joy does not come from what we have attained whether in terms of material goods or in fame and popularity. It comes from knowing the Lord and His great unfailing love for us.

If you find yourself speaking rudely before you can even stop the words coming out of your mouth; if you find that people are not enjoying being around you quite as much as they once did….check your JOY…check your GRATEFUL heart. Return fully to the remembrance of what Christ has done for you who deserved death, but have now received life everlasting instead.

[NOTE FROM JAGS: Have a very important and serious new book to recommend called "The Harbinger" by Jonathan Cahn.  Available right now only in digital version, but don't wait for the printed version, get it now!  I read it in one sitting...full of biblical discernment by one who studies deeply the Word of God.   I believe "The Harbinger" is a God-inspired message to America: a message of warning of judgment to come, and a message of hope and redemption if we will only heed what God is showing us through scripture!  It is a MUST read for every believer and non-believer alike!]