In today's modern (and often God-less age) the marriage covenant has, in many cases, been reduced to a loosely-held agreement or social contract with an implied understanding that the contract will continue only for as long as the arrangement meets the self-actualizing** needs of both parties (financially, emotionally, physically, socially, etc.); and is subject to dissolution when such needs are no longer being met.
A self-actualizing person is defined as one who is in the process of fulfilling his or her potential. Self-actualization is a psychological term and secular in the sense that God is not a necessary part of this fulfillment....the individual can do this all by himself. Thus, in today's culture, a marriage is often dissolved when one spouse decides that his or her own self-actualizing potential is being hindered by the other spouse.
Many folks today believe that the easy and quick dissolution of a marriage relationship is only about the two individuals who agree (or disagree to dissolve). But our choices are never just about us. And a marriage contract such as this is simply a demonically-inspired counterfeit to God's plan for a marriage.
God ordained marriage to be a "covenant" relationship: solemn, binding and perpetual - meant to be everlasting. Listen to His own words about marriage being a "covenant" and what happens between God and the party who breaks that covenant:
"You flood the Lord's altar with tears. You weep and wail because He no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, "Why?"
It is because the LORD is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant." Malachi 2:13-14
The Lord is passionate about the marriage covenant and is passionately against the one who breaks such a covenant. This is because He understands better than any of us how critical a marriage relationship is. It was ordained to produce children; who grow up and marry and produce other children; all of whom impact the community, and ultimately the entire nation. That nation can consist and be governed by the offspring of marriage "contracts" who don't know God or it can consist and be governed by the offspring of marriage "covenants" who do know God. The difference is critical to all of us as a nation.
"Has not the one God made you? You belong to Him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth." Malachi 2:15
R.C. Sproul says that "People avoid the covenant of marriage because they want to have irresponsible relationships, but such relationships are hazardous to human life. God has created us so that we blossom as human beings when we conform to God's covenantal structures. When we live irresponsibly, we destroy ourselves and others....living by covenants is God's method to anchor our lives and provide security against the prevailing cultural disintegration."
Folks in today's culture insist on "keeping their options open" which translates into "I don't want to be tied down." They think they provide freedom for themselves by entering into living arrangements without the marriage covenant OR by entering lightly into the "social" marriage contract - one meant for convenience rather than endurance.
It is BECAUSE God is a part of the marriage "covenant," as He intends it to be, that each individual experiences true freedom and reaches their highest potential and purpose - not for themselves - but for God's kingdom and God's glory. It is God who performs this in those who have submitted their lives (and their flesh) to God's rule. And in can only happen - for the kingdom and for God's glory - within the structure of a marriage "covenant" with God as its witness.
What is the significance of having a witness to a marriage covenant?
In the community, witnesses to the bride and groom are normally closest friends or close family members. They witness the vows spoken by the bride and groom for the intended purpose of supporting them later in times of trouble and encouraging them to remember their vows and to push on through the troubles. It is the community of friends and family that take a part in this encouragement to push through, to endure, to change as needed - all in order to maintain the sanctity of that marriage relationship.
Having God as the witness brings another element into the preservation of the marriage covenant. He brings the "church" into it. The "church" (little c, not big C) comprised of believers who trust in Jesus, the Word of God, has been gven the responsibility to "govern" the things of the church, including the loving preservation of the marriage covenants within its body of believers, or the necessary accountability partnering when problems arise, and even disciplinary actions when adultery in any form (including pornography addiction) is involved (more to come on this subject later).
Now, in our fiercely independent culture that wants to exclude God, the church seldom plays the role God intended it to play in marriages...mostly because the parties to the marriage covenant will not allow the church to enter in, prayerfully and with love and wisdom, to attempt to alleviate the source of the trouble - usually found in one and most often in both parties of the covenant. Often the parties in conflict just want what they want...and they can't see past that...and they will not receive even Godly wisdom.
And sometimes the church itself doesn't recognize the governing authority it has been given by God; and wanting to not "interfere" also does not govern. Yet the church has a particular interest in preserving the sanctity of the marriage covenant, as it will affect the church body as a whole, beginning in the families of the spouses, then friends, then the church as a whole, and on and on it goes; all of which affects God's kingdom and glory
The church should be active in safeguarding the covenant of marriage, and thus the family unit, and thus the community, and thus the nation, and thus the glory of God.
...to be continued...
[**self-actualization is a term I recently heard used in a Bible study called "The Truth Project" by Focus on the Family...every church should have that study...it is incredibly informative, deeply challenging and at times uncomfortably convicting. On the surface, the characteristics of a self-actualizing individual appear positive and good and seems to be something we should all strive for. But this is the case for all of the ploys that Satan uses to bring God's children into a position of compromise without them even being aware of it unless they remain alert (awake!) and on their guard for such deceptions. The compromise here is that God is unnecessary...man has all that he needs within himself to achieve these "good" goals. An example of this is being seen in television commercials right now. You might have seen them: short snippets of tender loving family moments that end with a one word title such as "INSPIRATION" or "PATIENCE". I saw one of these for the first time two weeks ago and wondered who the "Foundation for a Better Life" really was. A quick google search showed me that it is a secular foundation, not tied into any church organization of any kind, whose purpose is to promote "positive values" most likely thinking that this will make things better for us as a whole. Not "Christian or Godly" values, mind you, just "positive" values. Harmless and sweet on the surface; yet further promoting our culture's viewpoint that man is basically "good" - having no need of a Savior. And so what appears to be sweet and harmless is actually DEADLY, for what does not lead us towards God leads us away from God.]
A self-actualizing person is defined as one who is in the process of fulfilling his or her potential. Self-actualization is a psychological term and secular in the sense that God is not a necessary part of this fulfillment....the individual can do this all by himself. Thus, in today's culture, a marriage is often dissolved when one spouse decides that his or her own self-actualizing potential is being hindered by the other spouse.
Many folks today believe that the easy and quick dissolution of a marriage relationship is only about the two individuals who agree (or disagree to dissolve). But our choices are never just about us. And a marriage contract such as this is simply a demonically-inspired counterfeit to God's plan for a marriage.
God ordained marriage to be a "covenant" relationship: solemn, binding and perpetual - meant to be everlasting. Listen to His own words about marriage being a "covenant" and what happens between God and the party who breaks that covenant:
"You flood the Lord's altar with tears. You weep and wail because He no longer looks with favor on your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, "Why?"
It is because the LORD is the witness between you and the wife of your youth. You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant." Malachi 2:13-14
The Lord is passionate about the marriage covenant and is passionately against the one who breaks such a covenant. This is because He understands better than any of us how critical a marriage relationship is. It was ordained to produce children; who grow up and marry and produce other children; all of whom impact the community, and ultimately the entire nation. That nation can consist and be governed by the offspring of marriage "contracts" who don't know God or it can consist and be governed by the offspring of marriage "covenants" who do know God. The difference is critical to all of us as a nation.
"Has not the one God made you? You belong to Him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth." Malachi 2:15
R.C. Sproul says that "People avoid the covenant of marriage because they want to have irresponsible relationships, but such relationships are hazardous to human life. God has created us so that we blossom as human beings when we conform to God's covenantal structures. When we live irresponsibly, we destroy ourselves and others....living by covenants is God's method to anchor our lives and provide security against the prevailing cultural disintegration."
Folks in today's culture insist on "keeping their options open" which translates into "I don't want to be tied down." They think they provide freedom for themselves by entering into living arrangements without the marriage covenant OR by entering lightly into the "social" marriage contract - one meant for convenience rather than endurance.
It is BECAUSE God is a part of the marriage "covenant," as He intends it to be, that each individual experiences true freedom and reaches their highest potential and purpose - not for themselves - but for God's kingdom and God's glory. It is God who performs this in those who have submitted their lives (and their flesh) to God's rule. And in can only happen - for the kingdom and for God's glory - within the structure of a marriage "covenant" with God as its witness.
What is the significance of having a witness to a marriage covenant?
In the community, witnesses to the bride and groom are normally closest friends or close family members. They witness the vows spoken by the bride and groom for the intended purpose of supporting them later in times of trouble and encouraging them to remember their vows and to push on through the troubles. It is the community of friends and family that take a part in this encouragement to push through, to endure, to change as needed - all in order to maintain the sanctity of that marriage relationship.
Having God as the witness brings another element into the preservation of the marriage covenant. He brings the "church" into it. The "church" (little c, not big C) comprised of believers who trust in Jesus, the Word of God, has been gven the responsibility to "govern" the things of the church, including the loving preservation of the marriage covenants within its body of believers, or the necessary accountability partnering when problems arise, and even disciplinary actions when adultery in any form (including pornography addiction) is involved (more to come on this subject later).
Now, in our fiercely independent culture that wants to exclude God, the church seldom plays the role God intended it to play in marriages...mostly because the parties to the marriage covenant will not allow the church to enter in, prayerfully and with love and wisdom, to attempt to alleviate the source of the trouble - usually found in one and most often in both parties of the covenant. Often the parties in conflict just want what they want...and they can't see past that...and they will not receive even Godly wisdom.
And sometimes the church itself doesn't recognize the governing authority it has been given by God; and wanting to not "interfere" also does not govern. Yet the church has a particular interest in preserving the sanctity of the marriage covenant, as it will affect the church body as a whole, beginning in the families of the spouses, then friends, then the church as a whole, and on and on it goes; all of which affects God's kingdom and glory
The church should be active in safeguarding the covenant of marriage, and thus the family unit, and thus the community, and thus the nation, and thus the glory of God.
...to be continued...
[**self-actualization is a term I recently heard used in a Bible study called "The Truth Project" by Focus on the Family...every church should have that study...it is incredibly informative, deeply challenging and at times uncomfortably convicting. On the surface, the characteristics of a self-actualizing individual appear positive and good and seems to be something we should all strive for. But this is the case for all of the ploys that Satan uses to bring God's children into a position of compromise without them even being aware of it unless they remain alert (awake!) and on their guard for such deceptions. The compromise here is that God is unnecessary...man has all that he needs within himself to achieve these "good" goals. An example of this is being seen in television commercials right now. You might have seen them: short snippets of tender loving family moments that end with a one word title such as "INSPIRATION" or "PATIENCE". I saw one of these for the first time two weeks ago and wondered who the "Foundation for a Better Life" really was. A quick google search showed me that it is a secular foundation, not tied into any church organization of any kind, whose purpose is to promote "positive values" most likely thinking that this will make things better for us as a whole. Not "Christian or Godly" values, mind you, just "positive" values. Harmless and sweet on the surface; yet further promoting our culture's viewpoint that man is basically "good" - having no need of a Savior. And so what appears to be sweet and harmless is actually DEADLY, for what does not lead us towards God leads us away from God.]
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